


Just Breathe

by Latenightsgunfights



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 15:16:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20084344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latenightsgunfights/pseuds/Latenightsgunfights
Summary: When the Inner Circle decides to celebrate with a game of Wicked Grace, the Inquisitor finds herself overwhelmed.





	Just Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. It says in the tags but this story contains panic attacks and I just wanted to say that what is described is my own personal experience, how I feel when I have an attack, and it may not be accurate to everyone. Thank you!

It was rare.

  
A moment of celebration. Joy and good fun amongst friends. Life with the Inquisition was hard, constant fighting, newly emerging enemies around every corner. It was nice to take a break. Pulling out the cards and wine, ignorant to where you were going to wake up the next day.

  
Ella was usually serious. Her life consisted of tight lipped smiles and polite nods at nobles who wouldn’t hesitate to get her swiftly assassinated. Most would think ‘Inquisitor’ a glamorous title, but in reality it was long days sitting at a desk, shifting through pages and pages of mindless drawl. When Varric invited her to a game of Wicked Grace with the inner circle she hastily accepted, hoping for an escape from her boring desk work.

  
So why did she feel like this.

  
There was a tightness in her chest, rising to her throat like bile before sickness, preventing her breaths from settling into their usual rhythm of controlled deepness, instead making them erratic and hard.

  
“E-excuse me,” she mumbled rising from her chair, doing her best not to glance into any of the eyes of her table of friends. Her face was flushed hot as she left the room, escaping into the quietness of her personal Chambers.

  
Ella shivered, breaths coming hard now.There were too many people in the room, she felt trapped, forcefully pulled out of her office solitude and into the bustle of voices. She felt like she was loosing control, her grip on reality slipping. _Am I loosing my mind?_ She gripped her head in both hands, covering her ears. She felt like she had fallen into an endless void, constantly falling in the endless darkness unable to stop herself, no floor in sight. Everything was too much. The noise of the curtains rustling in the wind, the tap of the branches on the window sill, even her own breaths were too loud, each strained wheeze feeling like a stab to the head.

Ella crawled under her desk, knees to her chest, looking for some kind of protection from a world that was just too much. She clamped her eyes shut, trying to focus on _staying alive_, but the only thing she saw behind her eyelids was impending doom. The faces of her friends, everyone she loved sneering at her, before screaming, eye whites melting from their sockets, blood pooling from their lips, bodies twisting, turning, distorting into something horrible. _It’s my fault. They hate me. It’s all one big joke._

  
She was too focused on fighting her demons back from her troubled mind, breath still coming fast, to notice the door open.  
Sera entered and looked around, eyes widening as if to take in the room.

  
“Oi! Your highness or whatever! They’re cracking out stronger booze and you’re missing out!”

  
She looked around some more before her eyes stopped on the hyperventilating form under the desk. Sera immediately made an effort to lower her voice, a task easier said than done, and tried to adopt the roguish abilities she was known for to approach quietly and hopefully not startle the distraught being.

  
She bent down, contorting her skinny body under the desk with ease. “Hey, hey. It’s all good yeah?”

  
When her words inevitably failed her she put a hand on Ella’s shoulder, trying to get the human to look her in the eyes.

  
It seemed to work, Ella looking up, short hair falling from its usual composed style into a mess over her eyes. Before thinking, Sera ran her fingers through the fringe in an attempt to slick it back and smiled. “There you go, beautiful again.”

  
Ella let out a choked out laugh, her erratic breathing seemed to of calmed down, extinguishing Sera’s nervousness slightly. The Inquisitors cheeks were flushed, eyes puffy and bloodshot.

  
“I’m sorry.”

  
Sera frowned at that.

  
“What you apologizing for? Shit happens.” Sera placed her hand on her shoulder again.

  
“I hate you seeing me like this.”

  
It was no secret that Sera _liked_ the Inquisitor. They’d grown close, and she wasn’t the pompous arsehole Sera expected. She was kind, funny even, knew what to say and wasn’t afraid to say it even if it wasn’t nice. Ella was real, not all flowers and niceties, a strong woman who Sera felt was capable of anything. She had earned Seras’ respect.

  
“Like I said, it happens to the best of us. Proves your more than just a title eh? A real person behind the ‘oh so holy Herald of Andraste.”

  
Ella smiled once again, breathing now reduced to shaky exhales. She took Seras’ hand and squeezed. It was grounding. She looked the elf in the eyes.

  
_Holy fuck she’s gorgeous. Whatever holy fucking entity is watching over me right now give me the strength to not fuck this up. _Sera was flustered.

  
“Thank you for coming, I know words aren’t always easy for you, but I have no idea where I’d be without you coming. You view me as more than a name, an expectation, and I appreciate that.”

  
Sera gaped, unable to form words at the thanks. In truth she hadn’t expected this, and just acted on instinct. Her instinctual reaction usually wasn’t appreciated. She glanced down.

  
Ella seemed to take her silence as some sort of disapproval, and quickly looked away. No!  
“Wait! I didn’t mean it like that Ella, it’s just that-“ Sera groaned as words failed her again. Things were easier to solve with arrows and swearing.

  
_You know what? Fuck it. _

  
Sera leaned forward in one fluid motion, lifting Ella’s chin and pressing her lips to hers. Meeting no resistance, she lifted her arms wrapping them around the Inquisitors’ shoulders. Ella kissed back, arms around Seras waist, thankful for Sera initiating the kiss she’d been to shy to ask for.

  
They kissed , barely stopping for breath, enjoying each others attention and company, when the door opened once again.

  
“If you’re quite finished, we’re waiting downstairs!” Cassandra grunted, exasperated but with a smile on her lips.

  
Both women giggled, hands interlocked.


End file.
